number_eight: (Boomer - Cannot Wash this Blood Away)
[personal profile] number_eight
No man is worth his salt who is not ready at all times to risk his body, to risk his well-being, to risk his life, in a great cause. - Theodore Roosevelt

I know I'm not worth much of anything these days. Let's face it; I betrayed the only family I ever had on Galactica, I hurt Galen who I loved so much and betrayed his trust, and I shot the Old Man.

I risked everything, all because I was a frakking idiot, listening to Cavil and his lies about Ellen, about Hera, and about me. I snuck onboard Galactica, impersonated Athena, tied her up after I beat the frak out of her, and then I frakked her husband right in front of her.

What sort of soldier does that make me?

I tried, sure, for a bit. I teamed up with Caprica and we let Anders go when we could have killed him, and then the two of us -- the strange Cylons, the broken ones, the ones who would have been boxed -- we formed a revolution. We convinced the Twos, the Eights, and the Sixes easily to come to our side and we took over New Caprica. It was only so that humans and Cylons could co-exist peacefully. That was the plan all along and... well, it didn't work. Our cause was a good one, but we couldn't pull it off, and the humans escaped.

Not Hera, though. I was supposed to take care of the little brat, and it killed me that Athena had everything I ever wanted back on Galactica while on the baseship I had nothing. I wasn't a soldier. I wasn't fighting for anything, not even my own life, which is probably how Caprica could have betrayed and killed me so easily.

After I downloaded into my new body, it was easy for Cavil to tell me the things I wanted to hear -- no, needed to hear. So of course when the Cylon Civil War started, I joined his side. Finally, there was a place for me! A reason to live.

But it all fell away.

As I saved the half-Cylon girl from Simon so he wouldn't cut her up, it didn't occur to me about the irony of it all, that it was my fault she was there in the first place. All I knew was I had to save her. I had to do something right with my life, one final time.

When I found Athena and Helo, I handed her over. It was only a question of whether it would be the human I frakked but didn't love, or the Cylon I'd always wanted to be but never could be... one of them would kill me.

Athena killed me. A final, permanent death because Resurrection technology was gone.

I asked them to relay a message to the Old Man, to let him know I owed him, because he'd let a rook pilot into his family of Raptor jocks. They wouldn't tell him, though... deep down? I knew that.

I died three times, at the hands of soldiers who I had trusted. Third time's the charm, right?

I deserved it, though. I wasn't a soldier. I never fought for a cause or was willing to give my life; I was always too frakking scared of the truth. No, I deserved to let Athena kill me.

Maybe, in the end as she handed Hera over to Helo and pulled the trigger, that was my cause.

Muse: Sharon "Boomer" Valerii
Fandom: Misc. TV/"Battlestar Galactica"
Word Count: 552
OOC Note: Prompt reply is canon and takes place during the series finale, "Daybreak, Part II".
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number_eight: (Default)

February 2010


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