number_eight: (Athena - Helo/Not Talking)
Call me a sinner
Call me a saint
Tell me it’s over
I’ll still love you the same


[Letter written to [livejournal.com profile] callsign_helo but destroyed and never sent]

Karl,

I'm not the person you think I am. I don't think I ever was, actually. Back on Caprica, I lied to you in order to get you to fall in love with me and it worked. Why? Why did it work? Why did you stay with me? You shot me when you found out I was a Cylon, but you could have killed me. You didn't. Why not? Did you really love me that much? I hope so. I'd like to believe that, at least.

I love you. I love you so much because you've always believed in me somehow. You've trusted me, you helped me get our daughter back from the Cylons after everything that President Roslin did, you stayed with me. You stayed with me while I was in hack, you pushed at me during that year until I agreed to marry you, you mourned the "loss" of our daughter alone because I pushed you away from me. But, you pushed back and I had to let you in. How could I refuse? You loved me. You still love me, no matter how selfish I can be at times.

I don't deserve you. I love you, Karl, with my whole life and I always will, but I have to tell you the truth.

I don’t want you to hurt... )

Muse: Sharon "Athena" Agathon
Fandom: Misc. TV/"Battlestar Galactica"
Word Count: 475
number_eight: (Default)
Looking back on the writing of your muse, and in roleplay, what would you define as the turning point where they really came together?

The turning point for Sharon in terms of prompt writing came when I stopped taking my answers solely from the source material of the show from the first season. There was some great stuff for both the "Athena" and "Boomer" versions of Sharon, but once I started exploring the generic "Eight" version, it really began to open up for her. Although THIS PROMPT really was my first attempt at trying something new with Sharon, and focusing on "Boomer" rather than "Athena", since "Athena"!Sharon is so much easier for me to write. I think because I can relate to her in many ways, whereas "Boomer"!Sharon is younger, more fragile, and completely different.

In terms of RP, there was no RP at first. It's difficult to RP something that is still on TV and keep it canon based when you have no idea where the character is going or where the storyline is going. Once I realized that and started RPing with Lee!mun ([livejournal.com profile] arrow_of_apollo), we were able to get into some really interesting motivations for our characters. I began to see some darker, more selfish sides to Sharon which I loved. Flawed characters always are the most interesting to me, and before the non-canon-RP and AU ship, I wasn't able to see it at all. Sharon was the poor-put-upon Cylon all the time. Now, she's so much more complex, and I've tried to write that into her AU prompts here to reflect that. I also tried experimenting with 1st, 2nd, and 3rd person POV prompt replies.

Right now, though, I have to credit the mun for Kara ([livejournal.com profile] burnandrave) for helping me branch out even further into another AU!verse, and to help explore the friendship between Sharon and Kara. The RP has been completely in character, but it's allowed me to continue to stretch the Lee/Sharon ship all while keeping it set firmly in the BSG universe.

I suppose there's not really one moment in terms of anything for Sharon, because I've loved writing her from day one, but in terms of her RP, I have to thank every BSG muse she has ever played with. They are the ones who have helped me grow as her writer.

Mun for Sharon "Athena" Agathon/Sharon "Boomer" Valerii
Fandom: Misc. TV/"Battlestar Galactica"
Word Count: 368
number_eight: (Athena - Apollo AU)
[Locked to [livejournal.com profile] arrow_of_apollo & [livejournal.com profile] burnandrave]

Myself, obviously.

No, that’s not true. It's a little of both.

I've lied to myself first and foremost in terms of how I've felt about Lee. All the times that we frakked and I'd tell myself that no, that's all it was, it was frakking and so it didn't mean anything, I was wrong. If it didn't mean anything, then I would've been able to stop it a long time ago. If it didn't mean anything, then I wouldn't have felt so guilty every time that I held Hera in my arms or made love to my husband.

Karl deserves better than me, but I'm selfish. I don't want to give up the love I have with him on the chance that whatever it is that I have with Lee might be, well, something.

But I've been a great liar to my friends, too.

I'm sorry, Kara. I'm sorry that all this time I've lied to you, too. How can you have this relationship with Sam and Leoben that works like this? I don't get it. I don't, because I'm jealous. Who would have thought that of the two of us, you'd have the working, happy relationship and I'd be the one who was lying to everyone? I'm jealous that you know what you want and you're not afraid of telling people anymore.

I don't know what I want. No, that's another lie.

I want you, Lee. But I don't love you and that is what is frakking up my head right now. You ruined my life. I let you ruin my life because it was what we both wanted. Wants, needs, desires, but never common sense.

Kara, please don't tell Karl. I know your pretty much his best friend and you guys go way back, but please don't. I don't have the life you have, and I never will.

And Lee? Go home to Dualla. She's better for you than some Cylon who is still lying to herself.

Muse: Sharon "Athena" Agathon
Fandom: Misc. TV/"Battlestar Galactica"
Word Count: 336
OOC Note: This version of Sharon is from the AU!Earth verse and is not canon. The Helo referred to is [livejournal.com profile] callsign_helo, the Leoben is [livejournal.com profile] cylon_prophet, and the Sam is [livejournal.com profile] notmyfate. This prompt response takes place after an RP that is not yet finished between Lee, Kara, Sharon, Leoben, & Sam.
number_eight: (Athena - Apollo/Dramatic AU)
I was running.

It was one of those feelings that I enjoyed once I was finally out of that cell. I was part of the Colonial Fleet, and so jogging through the hallways of Galactica gave me a sense of freedom. Helo knows. It's not that I can't fall asleep; it's that I don't want to be confined anymore.

[Locked from Helo]

And then I ran into Lee, drunk, in the pilots' rec room. I don't know what got over me; it was so idiotic, really. I was upset, trying to prove a point that I wasn't Boomer, that I was Sharon. Athena. Someone he could trust. I was so frakking tired of everyone saying things behind my back, and so I decided to try to talk to him.

All I wanted was for him to say my name. To realize that I was just as human as he was.

"You're human? Well, now you definitely get to feel like a human. Don't worry. You haven't had it like this-- but you're gonna love it."

In his drunkenness, I recalled everything from the rape and ran away from him. I couldn't stop crying. Why? Why had he done this to me? I had taken a belt and wrapped my wrists with it, just to show him how much I trusted him not to hurt me, and then he went and did this to me. Why?

"You trusted me. You gave someone a little precious piece of yourself, and they tried to kill it, just to make it hurt. Welcome to being human... Sharon."

We argued, I cried, and then he begged me to hurt him. As if taking out some revenge on him would make up for what he had just tried to do to me, or how he'd always felt about me. No. No, I couldn't do that. Sure, I backhanded him once, but it wasn't hard. There was nothing in it, despite my anger at him.

And then we frakked.

God, sometimes I hate you, Lee, for what you did to my life. Sometimes I hate you for what you did to me that night. And then sometimes, I remember that there wouldn't be an "us" at all if there hadn't been all that pain to begin with.

Muse: Sharon "Athena" Agathon
Fandom: Misc. TV/"Battlestar Galactica"
Word Count: 380 (not including quotes written by Lee!mun)
OOC Note: This version of Sharon is AU, not canon, and based off RP. The Helo referred to is [livejournal.com profile] callsign_helo and the Lee is [livejournal.com profile] arrow_of_apollo.
number_eight: (Athena - Apollo Salute)
[Private]

I'm still not sure what to do. About practically anything.

I got lucky. Really lucky that I not only found Helo and fell in love with him, but that he fell in love with me. And now we have this beautiful daughter who I would die for (and in fact, I have once), and life is just... perfect.

There have been bumps along the way, sure, like getting thrown into hack and having Hera taken away from me. That was probably one of the worst things that's happened to me recently.

And then there's Lee.

It all happened when I flew him over to Colonial One on my Raptor. He was a civilian, and I was still in the fleet, and we frakked. One last time, and we knew it was wrong and that it wasn't love, and then he was gone. He went off to live his life and I went back to my husband and daughter and lied to them both about how everything was fine.

But then with Hera... God, what was I supposed to do? That Six was going to hurt her, I know she was, and so I shot her. Getting thrown into hack, though, I didn't know what to do because Helo was gone. The Old Man pointed that out to me quite clearly in his quarters, that it was my fault, that my husband was in jeopardy, that I couldn't have Hera.

So I turned to Lee. Scuttlebutt had it that he'd been doing well as a voice of reason, and he had managed to get frakking Baltar acquitted. Anyone who thinks differently is fooling themselves – it was Lee on the stand. I just figured that he'd know something that would help me. Something that could save me from a hearing. Strangely enough, he came and visited me in the brig and said he'd work on it.

Read more... )

Muse: Sharon "Athena" Agathon
Fandom: Misc. TV/"Battlestar Galactica"
Word Count: 462
OOC Note: This version of Sharon is AU, not canon, and based off RP. The Helo referred to is [livejournal.com profile] callsign_helo and the Lee is [livejournal.com profile] arrow_of_apollo.
number_eight: (Athena - Aphena Intoxication)
[Locked from all BSG muses]

It's not love.

I don't know what this is, this strange connection that we have, but it's not love. I love Karl. I love my daughter, and I am not going to frak that up simply because Lee Adama – excuse me, President Lee Adama – somehow turned my entire world upside down and then walked right out of it.

I had assumed he was going to stay, I guess. Which was wrong, naturally, since at every moment I'd done my best to push him back to Dee or back to Kara. Anything to get him the frak away from me. So he left, and I should have been happy, right? I finally managed to push the great Apollo away, out of military life into one where I wouldn't see him. I could go back to my husband and daughter and forget that any of this had ever happened and that right there was another assumption.

I can't. I can't go back. I look into Karl's eyes and it hurts me to know what he has given up for me and how I've betrayed him while at the same time, I need Lee. I miss Lee. I'd hoped he missed me, too, so it was a huge relief when he told me that he did, but still…

It's wrong.

And God help me, I still want what is wrong all while I won't give up my perfect life. Is that selfish of me? Naturally, but at the moment, I don't give a frak.

I want it all.

Muse: Sharon "Athena" Agathon
Fandom: Misc. TV/"Battlestar Galactica"
Word Count: 260
OOC Note: This version of Sharon is AU, not canon. This prompt reply takes place after THIS THREAD. The Helo referred to is [livejournal.com profile] callsign_helo and the Lee is [livejournal.com profile] arrow_of_apollo.

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Sharon

February 2010

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