random_fic Write about a forbidden activity.

[number_eight]

I don’t know how it all started off.

No, that’s not exactly true; it started when I was out taking a nice jog through the corridors of Galactica and I ran into Lee in the pilots’ rec room, completely drunk. How it kept going is still a mystery to me, though.

I shouldn’t be doing this. I’ve got a husband and child that I love more than anything, and I’m a Commissioned Officer finally. I’ve had something to prove ever since Helo found out what I really was, but he loved me. Pretty much right after he knew I was a Cylon, he loved me anyways. Kara came next, but she accepted me, too. It was when President Roslin threatened to “toss me out of the airlock” and when Lee shoved a gun in my face that I realized I wouldn’t be accepted.

So, I just kept trying my best. It worked for the most part, except for Lee, and Goddamnit, I wanted him to accept me the same way everyone else had. I wanted him to just… I don’t know. I tried talking to him while he was drunk, and we ended up in a fight and God, the memories of the rape came back to me because his hands were brutal and all I could think of was that he was another one of those frakking men who wanted to hurt me simply because I was a Cylon.

I’m not sure when it changed, but the next thing I knew there were changes in the CAP, secret meetings, and Lee never once thought it was wrong. Despite his feelings for Kara, his love for Dee (which he’s never denied), he has never once said that what we’re doing is wrong. I have. I’m hurting my husband, although Helo doesn’t know it. I’m hurting my daughter somehow; I’m possibly ruining my friendship with Kara, and my job? The one The Old Man entrusted me with? What the frak am I going to do if he finds out I’m frakking his son?

I don’t even know why I’ve been doing it. It’s addictive. It’s wrong. It’s going to destroy two families once they found out, and I’m not stupid enough to think that they won’t.

And yet, I can’t bring myself to stop, somehow. God help me, I can’t stop.

(Word Count: 390)