275 - "You can't control life, at least you can control your version."

[number_eight]

She cried the whole time for her mother, for Athena, and once I finally did my part and handed Hera over, she started crying for me. Me.

I didn't deserve her tears. At that point, I didn't deserve much of anything.

Simon wasn't going to stop, though. I tried to talk to him, to get him to stop, to just leave Hera alone because what was the point? Cavil was wrong. He was... God, he was wrong, I was wrong, we were all wrong.

They didn't see it that way, though. I was the lone female on the Colony. That should have been the first clue that I was on the wrong side. All the Sixes and Eights had gone over to be with the humans, and the one Three left did, too. The Final Five Cylons, well, they were there except for Ellen, and what had I done? I had been the one to take her back to the humans, too.

I was the one dissenting voice, the only one who saw Hera as more than just a ... thing. Weird, because that was how I used to see her. I'd almost frakking killed her too -- what would have happened if I had done it? If Caprica hadn't stopped me?

I was able to get her, though, kill the Simon and carry Hera away from them all and hopefully back to Athena. Figured she'd be here, after all, considering Galactica itself had rammed into the Colony. All of this for one little girl?

Family. The Old Man must have done it. He knew, he remembered the importance of family. He'd made me part of his family back when I was just "Boomer", the rook. He laughed, I remember, saying that I didn't really understand what I was doing, how I was frakking things up. I was doing it on purpose, too, just so I could spend some time with Galen... so I suppose, he was right. I didn't get it. I didn't get it at all. I was abusing my power then to get what I wanted from my family...

So I abused the small amount of power I still had in the Colony to get Hera back to her family.

I wasn't sure who would kill me. No Resurrection technology left. Permanent death. Would it be Helo, because of how I'd fooled him? Athena, for taking her daughter? The Old Man, for abusing the trust he'd placed in me, for shooting him?

Turned out it was Athena. I really should have known...

"Tell the Old Man, I owed him one."

I did. I owed him more than one, though. I had been stupid my whole life, making stupid choices, letting others make the choices for me. I'd been weak.

I promised to the Old Man, way back, that when it mattered, he could count on me. I would do the right thing, because I owed him... so much. I owed him because he gave me a chance, let me into his family.

Helo was holding Hera, and both of her parents were staring daggers at me. I don't even know if anyone would bother to give my message to the Old Man, but I had to try. I was dead, after all. Standing right there, saving Hera, and I was dead. It was just a question of who would pull the trigger.

Athena was right... saving Hera didn't change all the other things I'd done to hurt my once-family.

"We all make our choices. Today I made a choice. I think its my last one," I told her.

I had finally made a choice that was mine, and mine alone. No secret programming. No orders from Cavil. It was like I was just "Boomer" all over again, only this time the choice I made was much, much more important than any I had made before in my life.

I let Athena shoot me.

It wasn't the first time I'd died. Cally was first, then Caprica. Fitting that Athena would be the last to kill me.

At least this time when I died, Hera was safe.

And I'd made my own choice.

Everything felt like it was in slow-motion as I fell, and all I could think was... "Finally. No one can control me anymore..."

My name was Sharon Valerii, but everyone called me Boomer. I was a rook pilot on Galactica who betrayed her whole family and the man she loved -- twice. I was a Cylon, even though I didn't want to believe it. I was betrayed by the Cylon family I had clung to, in the end. I was the one who kidnapped and saved Hera.

My name was Sharon Valerii, and now I'm dead.

Good hunting, Athena...



Muse: Sharon "Boomer" Valerii
Fandom: Misc. TV/"Battlestar Galactica"
Word Count: 793 (not including direct quotes)