Look at me and tell me who I am, why I am, what I am...

It's a downward spiral and I can't seem to come out of it at all. I've tried, and tried, and tried some more. Deep down, though, I know the truth. I know, at least I think I know?

Gods, I don't know.

There was water, water everywhere, covering me from head to toe and then someone mentioned something about our ship. No, not our ship, the Fleet. We had no water. None. It was as if someone had sabotaged it all and Sharon, you know that it was you. So what did you do? You turned to Chief like always. You loved him and he loved you… right?

He would help, though, because you're weak. You're not strong, like Starbuck or Apollo or anyone else. You're just Boomer, and Boomer is a kid. She's so young, she's confused and frakked-up and she relies on the aid of a man. Of someone else. Someone else has to come and save her. Me. Her. Gods, me, I'm me, I'm Sharon Valerii and I love Chief and I need him to protect me from everyone else.

They're going to kill me. The spiral just keeps on going and going and so I had to cling to Chief because he kept fixing everything. He fixed the Raptor, the bombs, everything. He lied for me and I thought finally. Finally we can be safe and together because he fixed it all. Only… only I didn't remember. I didn't remember what I had done, or that I was selfish and had caused other people to be put into danger. I thought everyone on the Deck Crew would cover for us, but we were found out and then Chief found me out.

He wouldn't hug me. He wouldn't hold me after they told me I shot the Commander. He said… Gods, I can't even think about what he said. But he said we were over. Done. Finished. Everything he did to fix me just broke me right there and then. I saved his life from Gaius Baltar, but he didn't want me anymore.

Maybe he never really loved me at all.

Muse : Sharon "Boomer" Valerii
Fandom : "Battlestar Galactica"
Word Count : 354

There was blood.

I was doing my best not to get it everywhere, but something was wrong, and I really don't recall much. Screaming, I think, at Doc Cottle, who kept saying that it was too soon for her to be born. I did my best, but he said she had to come now.

Hours later, I had a beautiful, perfect daughter that Helo and I both smiled at through the glass.

You see, her lungs weren't fully formed, apparently. Our little miracle, half-human and half-Cylon, and she was struggling to stay alive. Later, though, he told me that she'd died. Her lungs were too small and couldn't keep her with us. The blood that had been there before when I started to go into labor felt like it filled my eyes with rage instead. My daughter was dead, after carrying her and loving her. Her ashes were scattered by Helo and Chief since I was still ill and to top it all off, still in hack.

Toasters don't get to see their children go to their last resting place.

Hera was the birth of the future of human and Cylon relations, everyone told me, but to me she was so much more. She was my daughter. I would go through the labor pains ten times over to make sure that she would be safe. I didn't have to, thank God, and with all of the troubles we've had keeping her healthy lately? With the strange dreams of people trying to take her away from me? I sincerely doubt I'll have another child.

But Hera, I knew from the moment I saw her, was the birth of something different in me, as well. Not only did I become a mother, but I became more human, as well. I'm not certain if that's part of God's plan or not, but it's part of mine, at least.

Muse : Sharon "Athena" Agathon
Fandom : "Battlestar Galactica"
Word Count : 315