number_eight | EM #49 - Breaking up is hard to do.

It's a downward spiral and I can't seem to come out of it at all. I've tried, and tried, and tried some more. Deep down, though, I know the truth. I know, at least I think I know?

Gods, I don't know.

There was water, water everywhere, covering me from head to toe and then someone mentioned something about our ship. No, not our ship, the Fleet. We had no water. None. It was as if someone had sabotaged it all and Sharon, you know that it was you. So what did you do? You turned to Chief like always. You loved him and he loved you… right?

He would help, though, because you're weak. You're not strong, like Starbuck or Apollo or anyone else. You're just Boomer, and Boomer is a kid. She's so young, she's confused and frakked-up and she relies on the aid of a man. Of someone else. Someone else has to come and save her. Me. Her. Gods, me, I'm me, I'm Sharon Valerii and I love Chief and I need him to protect me from everyone else.

They're going to kill me. The spiral just keeps on going and going and so I had to cling to Chief because he kept fixing everything. He fixed the Raptor, the bombs, everything. He lied for me and I thought finally. Finally we can be safe and together because he fixed it all. Only… only I didn't remember. I didn't remember what I had done, or that I was selfish and had caused other people to be put into danger. I thought everyone on the Deck Crew would cover for us, but we were found out and then Chief found me out.

He wouldn't hug me. He wouldn't hold me after they told me I shot the Commander. He said… Gods, I can't even think about what he said. But he said we were over. Done. Finished. Everything he did to fix me just broke me right there and then. I saved his life from Gaius Baltar, but he didn't want me anymore.

Maybe he never really loved me at all.

Muse : Sharon "Boomer" Valerii
Fandom : "Battlestar Galactica"
Word Count : 354