163 - Hindsight is always 20/20

There are only a few things I've ever done that I've regretted doing, and yeah, asking Helo to kill me has to be on the top of that list. But really? Really, I feel like I'm still questioning myself. I know that's odd, considering that Admiral Adama placed trust in me and allowed me to become his "personal advisor" of sorts for awhile. During that time, he was questioning himself, even though he might not have realized it or said it aloud. He needed to be told again what his place was in our fleet and how he needed to forgive himself for things he might have felt guilty about doing or not doing. So, yeah, you'd think that I would have been able to take my own advice on the matter but I can't, somehow.

I just keep thinking back to Caprica and my assignment, and thinking about how I've been telling myself that I frakked it up. How somehow, I became a traitor to my race by siding with the humans. The thing is, what if I didn't frak it up? What if I did exactly what the Cylons wanted me to do? After all, I did manage to get Helo to fall in love with me. I did manage to get pregnant and I had Hera. So what if I fulfilled my assignment unknowingly? What if Hera, who thank God is back home with me now, is more than my daughter?

( To look back and learn... )

I just want us to be together, without any covert missions or secret plots involved. It's a lot to ask for these days, I know, but I can still hope.

Muse: Sharon "Athena" Agathon
Fandom : Misc. TV/"Battlestar Galactica"
Word Count : 511