193 - Woods/Picture Prompt

[number_eight]

I know things, and I think that scares people.

I knew, back on Kobol when President Roslin was threatening to toss me out of an airlock, that I had to help them find the Gates of Hera to lead them to the Tomb of Athena. I think I knew even then that my call sign would be Athena because of that, and my daughter would be named after that place in honor of not of the false idols, but of the first time that I showed my trust to the whole family of Galactica.

Just part of being human, right?



I knew my child would be a girl, and I told Helo back then. When he asked me why, I told him that I just knew. He wasn't scared of me saying that, unlike the others when I started reciting specific passages in the scriptures of the Sacred Scrolls, telling them all that we Cylons knew more about their religion than they themselves did. It bought me time, of course, as I guided them to the place where the Arrow of Apollo would be used. They considered me to be the "lower demon" referred to in their so-called holy words, which was really the only reason that I was allowed to come.

"'And the body of each tribe's leader was offered to the gods in the tomb of Athena.' And the great ship was the galleon that departed from here, where we're standing. And it took the founders of the thirteen colonies to their destiny. And those that didn't board the galleon took the high road, a rocky ridge that lead to the tomb."

I knew too much.

"That's the spot where your god supposedly stood and watched Athena throw herself down onto the rocks below, out of despair over the Exodus of the thirteen tribes. Athena's tomb, whoever or whatever she really was, is probably up there."

I guess I'm Athena, now, ready to throw myself off the rocks out of despair of losing my daughter. Good thing that I got her back, though. Again, it was because I knew too much. I knew how to download and bring her back to Doc Cottle. I knew back on Kobol as I was leading the group where the grenade launcher was at, so that I could shoot the Cylon Centurians and save everyone.

I knew that I loved Helo, even then, as he held me in his arms when we made camp.

"And you ask why."

I knew what then-Commander Adama had said and done to Boomer, as he was choking me to death in the fields of green. Why had she done it to him? Why had she shot him? Then he turned around and attacked me? I told him later, much later, that perhaps the human race didn't deserve to survive. This was why…

Knowing too much can be troublesome. I don't have instant access to all memories, like some people seem to think, though. When I met up with the Chief, it was like seeing him after some long dream I'd had. I didn't know what had happened entirely, and my feelings for him were different than Boomer's had been for him, but it was still him. I still could tap into two years worth of memories from Boomer onboard Galactica, but I wasn't "wired in". Still, knowing what I did bothered him. I'm an anomaly, no matter what I do to fit in.

I killed my first human on Kobol. I'm not sure what that makes me, either, but I knew I had to in order to prove my worth and earn everyone's trust. So, yes, I pretended I was going to help kill the Old Man and his son. I turned around and shot Meier instead, then handed my weapon over to Commander Adama. I knew that wouldn't work, either, because of the way that Cally had been treated for killing Boomer. It was, however, a start.



I know too much, which is why in my dreams when I'm running through the Opera House on Kobol and I'm scared for Hera's life, it scares me, too. I don't want to know all of this.

People don't believe me when I tell them this, but I think Boomer had it easier. At least she didn't know.

Muse : Sharon "Athena" Agathon
Fandom : Misc. TV/"Battlestar Galactica"
Word Count : 720 (not including direct quotes)
OOC Note : Lyrics are from "Know Me" by P.O.D.

Comments

[arrow-of-apollo.livejournal.com]

For what it's worth, Lieutenant, that trust has been earned, in spades.

OOC: This was just wonderful. The show really hasn't delved into the way Cylons do or don't share knowledge, and this was a great examination of that.

[number-eight.livejournal.com]

Thank you, sir. It might not make me sleep better at night knowing that, but it's appreciated nonetheless.

[arrow-of-apollo.livejournal.com]

You're welcome.

[personanongaeta.livejournal.com]

Sometimes knowing is twice as painful as not knowing, Lieutenant.

[number-eight.livejournal.com]

Why would you say that, Lt. Gaeta?

[personanongaeta.livejournal.com]

Because not knowing means a thing can be ignored, overlooked, not dealt with. We humans love to brush hard things under the rug and pretend they aren't there.

Do you know how much I wish I had never known that the election had discrepancies? Our lives, all of our lives, would be so different, and I think better.

Once I knew it, I had to act on the knowledge- to not have done would have been to become someone else, someone who I didn't want to be. But if I hadn't known?

Thousands of people died because I knew something. Ignorance would have been bliss.

[number-eight.livejournal.com]

You don't know if it was meant to happen or not. The election scandel could have been discovered later by someone else, and then where would we have been?

At the very least, you were there with him, watching and helping the people on the planet. You saved lives.

[dirty-cally.livejournal.com]

I'm not trying to start a fight, I'm just very curious, sir.

You say you're not Boomer and believe it or not, I actually do believe that.

But you still let Boomer color all of your interactions with just about everyone around here. You're not Boomer, but you hate me because of what I did to her. And you're not Boomer, but when you look at me, I can see how suspicious you are that I'll put out a gun and do the same thing to you.

Boomer shot the Old Man. Boomer almost took the Chief down with her. You've done neither of those things. So you're not Boomer. But we both still treat each other like we're Boomer and Specialist Henderson.

I wonder if there are any identical twins, or triplets left in the fleet. I feel really, really sorry for them.

OOC: Sorry for the rambling. She's in a very strange mood.

[number-eight.livejournal.com]

I'm not Boomer, but other people are the ones who have allowed their actions to be colored by that. Major Adama. Admiral Adama. Chief only came to my rescue when I needed him because of her.

You don't like Cylons. We both know this. I just want you to stop talking about it in front of me. That's all I ask.