157 - What is your worst quality as a significant other?

[number_eight]

Well, I'm not saying, "I'm a Cylon" as my answer, since I don't see that as a problem. Especially with Helo who's been nothing but understanding practically the entire time I've known him. Yet, you'd think that would be my answer, wouldn't you? So, I don't know. I've been known to have a temper, although it can't compare to Starbuck's or, hell, most anyone else's here.



I don't know. "Boomer" loved Chief way back when, but she lied to him. She knew something was wrong with her, from what I've gathered, and yet she used him to help cover up their affair. She used him to cover up any signs that she could possibly be a Cylon. I guess, though, that I'm not much better when it comes to that. I was following orders, using Helo back on Caprica and trying to get him to not only fall in love with me, but to have a baby with me.

"Impregnate me" seems like such a Cylon thing to say. I just can't bring myself to... anyway, it all backfired. Six pretty much kicked my ass to make Helo think I'd been kidnapped, and... and I guess that's it, then. It's not the fact that I'm a Cylon, it's not the fact that "Boomer" used Chief. I'm not either of those Sharons; I'm just me. And I frakking used my own husband and then fell into such a depression over my daughter's death that I rejected him.

Why the hell did he stay around? Helo says he loves me. I know he loves me. I love him too, but God, after they lied and told me Hera was going to have to be aborted, the anger was so fresh and raw. I remember hitting my head repeatedly against the glass wall that kept me a prisoner until it cracked and blood began flowing from my wounds. He kept trying to help me. Why the hell wouldn't he? It was his baby, too. Our baby. But, I shut him out and... frak, you want a list of what's wrong with me?

I lied to my husband. I used him for the Cylons' purposes until I was able to tell him the truth. I loved him and yet I kept him out of the mutual depression we felt for the supposed "death" of our daughter. I yelled, screamed, cried, and closed myself off from the one person who actually cared about me. The worst thing about all of that was when I told Admiral Adama that I was self-aware? That all of my choices were my own? I wasn't lying about it. So every choice I made that hurt Helo were ones that I made, consciously or subconsciously, on my own.

It's not all the lies, though, that make me a poor wife, and yes, I know Helo would disagree with me saying that. I think it's just the fact that despite it all, I'm selfish. When we found out Hera was alive, we didn't embrace and share in the mutual anger of the lie or the joy that she was alive. I just stood apart from him and demanded to see my daughter. My daughter. God, I keep saying I'm different from the other Sharons, but maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm not.



Muse : Sharon "Athena" Agathon
Fandom : Misc. TV/"Battlestar Galactica"
Word Count : 550

Comments

[onewingbloody.livejournal.com]

If there's things you aren't necessarily 100% thrilled with about yourself, admitting it may the first thing you gotta do to change them.

[number-eight.livejournal.com]

I guess. Is that what you did?

[onewingbloody.livejournal.com]

More or less. I was kinda forced by some of my colleagues into admitting I was screwing up big-time. Didn't appreciate it at the time, took me a few years.

[number-eight.livejournal.com]

A few years? Damn. I don't want to wait that long. I've already waited and I'm not sure it's helped.

[onewingbloody.livejournal.com]

*smiles faintly* They say patience is a virtue.

[number-eight.livejournal.com]

I don't know if I'm patient, Gabriel.

[onewingbloody.livejournal.com]

It's a learned thing, patience. If it was easy, well, they wouldn't call it a virtue.

[number-eight.livejournal.com]

Okay, true. You've got me there.

[ki2k]

You're able to have children?

Sorry. Perhaps this is something that you should talk with your husband about. Show it to him.

[number-eight.livejournal.com]

Yes. It was a surprise to Helo, naturally, but I know it was part of the Cylon plan all along. I'm not really sure how or why, since that wasn't part of my programming, but... yes.

Hera was... no, is the first half-Cylon, half-human child that we know of.

[ki2k]

I am very confused as to how that would work. I can understand organic hybrids, but... you have circuitry embedded within your flesh, is that right? Does Hera? Do you have an organic brain or a CPU, and... do you know which Hera has?

If any of these questions are too personal or difficult, please feel free to tell me to shut up.

[number-eight.livejournal.com]

I'm curious, too. I don't know. Doc Cottle and Gaius Baltar were the ones who studied Hera the most. I think they said that she had some immunity to certain diseases, which was what saved me from an infectious Cylon disease. Her blood also was used to help cure President Roslin's cancer.

Not that I think she is worth saving at the moment because of how she lied to me.

I bleed, like anyone else, and I do have some... well, I was able to attach part of Galactica into my arm once to save... okay, this is sounding strange even to me.

No CPU, I don't think? I don't know. Frankly, no one's bothered to study me. They studied Hera only because they wanted to use her blood for the President.

It's not difficult, in the normal sense. It's just difficult to answer since I'm not exactly sure. And you don't have to shut up, Kitt. *smile* I like talking to you.

It's strange that you mention an organic hybrid, since the Cylons have one of those as well.

[weissman.livejournal.com]

Did I say your stuff is wonderful, I can't stop reading it.

Bob

[number-eight.livejournal.com]