![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Me.
To think your whole life that you're human, to go out fighting against the toasters for the survival of the human race, only to find out that you're a toaster yourself? And not just any toaster, but a frakking sleeper agent sent to kill one of the most thoughtful, kindest men in the whole frakking galaxy?
I can't explain how much that hurts me. It hurts me still, to this day, to know that the time I lost and couldn't remember were because of things I was doing that were programmed into me. A lie, a whole life that was a lie. And I tried, I frakking tried my best to get it back after I woke up on Caprica and demanded to live in my apartment, but then they tried to box me.
I came up with that great idea with Caprica Six to have humans and Cylons live together. We all saw how well New Caprica turned out.
Everything I touched turned to ash. Galen. He didn't want me to hold him in those moments where Baltar was trying to kill him just to get to me back on Galactica. I shot then-Commander Adama and lost the trust of all of my friends and family. I lost my life, my apartment, my future in the fleet.
Frak, I turned out to be a frakking babysitter for Athena's brat simply because I'm the same model as she is. God, how I wanted to kill her, just squeeze that neck and take that life away from her forever, and Cavil was the one who told me no. No, that I'd been wrong to think that, that God would not want us to take a life that could be important to our future, and that's when I realized how terrible I'd become. I'd turned into the monster that everyone had called me.
I'd become one of them.
I'm not even Sharon anymore, when I was human. I'm not "Eight", like I should be with the Cylons. I'm just my callsign because it makes things simpler on everyone.
Is it any wonder that I turned to Cavil for support? When he was the one who took care of me, comforted me, told me that I was important and that God's plan had to be followed, even if it meant splintering the Cylons forever? And I betrayed my family – my new one – all over again just because of that.
You want to know who scares me the most? I'm a traitor to the humans and a traitor to the Cylons. I don't think I need to say anything more than that.
Muse: Sharon "Boomer" Valerii
Fandom: Misc. TV/"Battlestar Galactica"
Word Count: 439
To think your whole life that you're human, to go out fighting against the toasters for the survival of the human race, only to find out that you're a toaster yourself? And not just any toaster, but a frakking sleeper agent sent to kill one of the most thoughtful, kindest men in the whole frakking galaxy?
I can't explain how much that hurts me. It hurts me still, to this day, to know that the time I lost and couldn't remember were because of things I was doing that were programmed into me. A lie, a whole life that was a lie. And I tried, I frakking tried my best to get it back after I woke up on Caprica and demanded to live in my apartment, but then they tried to box me.
I came up with that great idea with Caprica Six to have humans and Cylons live together. We all saw how well New Caprica turned out.
Everything I touched turned to ash. Galen. He didn't want me to hold him in those moments where Baltar was trying to kill him just to get to me back on Galactica. I shot then-Commander Adama and lost the trust of all of my friends and family. I lost my life, my apartment, my future in the fleet.
Frak, I turned out to be a frakking babysitter for Athena's brat simply because I'm the same model as she is. God, how I wanted to kill her, just squeeze that neck and take that life away from her forever, and Cavil was the one who told me no. No, that I'd been wrong to think that, that God would not want us to take a life that could be important to our future, and that's when I realized how terrible I'd become. I'd turned into the monster that everyone had called me.
I'd become one of them.
I'm not even Sharon anymore, when I was human. I'm not "Eight", like I should be with the Cylons. I'm just my callsign because it makes things simpler on everyone.
Is it any wonder that I turned to Cavil for support? When he was the one who took care of me, comforted me, told me that I was important and that God's plan had to be followed, even if it meant splintering the Cylons forever? And I betrayed my family – my new one – all over again just because of that.
You want to know who scares me the most? I'm a traitor to the humans and a traitor to the Cylons. I don't think I need to say anything more than that.
Muse: Sharon "Boomer" Valerii
Fandom: Misc. TV/"Battlestar Galactica"
Word Count: 439