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number_eightI was running.
It was one of those feelings that I enjoyed once I was finally out of that cell. I was part of the Colonial Fleet, and so jogging through the hallways of Galactica gave me a sense of freedom. Helo knows. It's not that I can't fall asleep; it's that I don't want to be confined anymore.
[Locked from Helo]
And then I ran into Lee, drunk, in the pilots' rec room. I don't know what got over me; it was so idiotic, really. I was upset, trying to prove a point that I wasn't Boomer, that I was Sharon. Athena. Someone he could trust. I was so frakking tired of everyone saying things behind my back, and so I decided to try to talk to him.
All I wanted was for him to say my name. To realize that I was just as human as he was.
"You're human? Well, now you definitely get to feel like a human. Don't worry. You haven't had it like this-- but you're gonna love it."
In his drunkenness, I recalled everything from the rape and ran away from him. I couldn't stop crying. Why? Why had he done this to me? I had taken a belt and wrapped my wrists with it, just to show him how much I trusted him not to hurt me, and then he went and did this to me. Why?
"You trusted me. You gave someone a little precious piece of yourself, and they tried to kill it, just to make it hurt. Welcome to being human... Sharon."
We argued, I cried, and then he begged me to hurt him. As if taking out some revenge on him would make up for what he had just tried to do to me, or how he'd always felt about me. No. No, I couldn't do that. Sure, I backhanded him once, but it wasn't hard. There was nothing in it, despite my anger at him.
And then we frakked.
God, sometimes I hate you, Lee, for what you did to my life. Sometimes I hate you for what you did to me that night. And then sometimes, I remember that there wouldn't be an "us" at all if there hadn't been all that pain to begin with.
Muse: Sharon "Athena" Agathon
Fandom: Misc. TV/"Battlestar Galactica"
Word Count: 380 (not including quotes written by Lee!mun)
OOC Note: This version of Sharon is AU, not canon, and based off RP. The Helo referred to is![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
callsign_helo and the Lee is arrow_of_apollo.
It was one of those feelings that I enjoyed once I was finally out of that cell. I was part of the Colonial Fleet, and so jogging through the hallways of Galactica gave me a sense of freedom. Helo knows. It's not that I can't fall asleep; it's that I don't want to be confined anymore.
[Locked from Helo]
And then I ran into Lee, drunk, in the pilots' rec room. I don't know what got over me; it was so idiotic, really. I was upset, trying to prove a point that I wasn't Boomer, that I was Sharon. Athena. Someone he could trust. I was so frakking tired of everyone saying things behind my back, and so I decided to try to talk to him.
All I wanted was for him to say my name. To realize that I was just as human as he was.
"You're human? Well, now you definitely get to feel like a human. Don't worry. You haven't had it like this-- but you're gonna love it."
In his drunkenness, I recalled everything from the rape and ran away from him. I couldn't stop crying. Why? Why had he done this to me? I had taken a belt and wrapped my wrists with it, just to show him how much I trusted him not to hurt me, and then he went and did this to me. Why?
"You trusted me. You gave someone a little precious piece of yourself, and they tried to kill it, just to make it hurt. Welcome to being human... Sharon."
We argued, I cried, and then he begged me to hurt him. As if taking out some revenge on him would make up for what he had just tried to do to me, or how he'd always felt about me. No. No, I couldn't do that. Sure, I backhanded him once, but it wasn't hard. There was nothing in it, despite my anger at him.
And then we frakked.
God, sometimes I hate you, Lee, for what you did to my life. Sometimes I hate you for what you did to me that night. And then sometimes, I remember that there wouldn't be an "us" at all if there hadn't been all that pain to begin with.
Muse: Sharon "Athena" Agathon
Fandom: Misc. TV/"Battlestar Galactica"
Word Count: 380 (not including quotes written by Lee!mun)
OOC Note: This version of Sharon is AU, not canon, and based off RP. The Helo referred to is
callsign_helo and the Lee is arrow_of_apollo.
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locked
Date: 2008-09-04 06:46 am (UTC)I didn't mean for you to find out about it this way.It was really just the one time
except it wasn't.You and Leoben? What?
Re: locked
Date: 2008-09-04 01:56 pm (UTC)Trust me, I know about frakking Lee Adama and why it's a bad idea.Sometimes you end up frakking people you hate, because of all the godsdamned tension. Even if they're keeping you prisoner for a few months.
It was just once, too.
Except it wasn't.locked
Date: 2008-09-04 06:58 pm (UTC)It's a bad idea. A very bad idea. Because I still love Helo and he doesn't know.Kara, you and Leoben...? On New Caprica?
Wow.
I don't know how I can hurt someone I love so much and who loves me by doing this, especially since I don't love Lee at all. It's all frakked up.Re: locked
Date: 2008-09-04 07:00 pm (UTC)I've never told anyone. Not even Sam. I'm--
ashamed--it's hard to explain why it happened.Nothing in this war makes any frakking sense.OOC: I can totally make this Kara--if this is your AU!LostYear!Athena--a Kara/Leoben!AU!Kara, in which Sam doesn't know. They can be adultery!friends. ::giggles::
locked
Date: 2008-09-04 07:05 pm (UTC)You're right about that.OOC: This is actually AU!SeasonFour!Athena, but I'm cool to let her talk to anyone. I can have tons of AU!Sharons. *L*
Re: locked
Date: 2008-09-04 07:07 pm (UTC)Frak. I don't know. I just wanted to tell someone, maybe.
OOC: Aha! Excellent. I can have AU!Kara before they get to Earth. Whatever, I can just make something up. ::giggles at self, twirls you::
locked
Date: 2008-09-04 08:29 pm (UTC)Re: locked
Date: 2008-09-04 08:33 pm (UTC)Same here. I mean, I know---let's just say I know what you're going through.
Kind of.locked
Date: 2008-09-04 08:43 pm (UTC)Re: locked
Date: 2008-09-04 08:46 pm (UTC)Frak me, Sharon, I could write a book about that.