Discussions (au rp for arrow_of_apollo)

[number_eight]

OOC: Takes place after THIS THREAD between Kara and Sharon.

It hadn't taken much time to get to Lee's office without an appointment. Helo had known Sharon was going to be out late with Kara, so he wasn't exactly suspicious, either. He was still at home, taking care of Hera.

Sharon was completely drunk, though, and determined to at least talk to Lee about the lunch they'd had with Kara, Sam, and Leoben.

As she was buzzed into Lee's office on the grounds that she had some "very important" information to tell him regarding new intel on Cylon/human relations, she shut the door behind her and looked at him across the desk. She slammed her hands down, hard, on the wood and stared him right in the eyes.

"We need to talk about the other day, Lee. Kara and Leoben know." She was drunk, but she was still rational enough to know that there was no need to play games when it came to this.

Comments

[arrow-of-apollo.livejournal.com]

They hadn't set anything up, so Lee figured that it could well have been legitimate business that was bringing Sharon to his office. Then again, it was pretty late for an official meeting, so there might have been some reason that she decided to just pay him a visit for a quick frak. He wasn't sure which it would be, but he was pretty sure how either scenario would play out. Sharon entering the office nearly weaving on her feet from being so drunk, though, was not a possibility he'd considered.

Sharon's words hit him like a slap in the face, and Lee's instincts took over. He was on his feet in a moment, locking the door, then crossing back to his desk to push a chair behind her. Lee sat on the edge of the desk, his jaw working tightly as he tried to rein in his reactions.

"And just how do they know?" Lee didn't ask whether or not it was true, and never wondered if Sharon might be mistaken or overreacting. She had as much to lose in this as he did-- no, more-- and was just as careful as he was at hiding their affair. "What are they going to do about it?"

[number-eight.livejournal.com]

She slumped into the chair Lee gave her and shut her eyes. A fight. She should have known it.

"Kara pretty much guessed from when we were there at her place for lunch. She suggested I talk to Leoben and see if he could help me figure a few things out. Obviously, it didn't work, so I saw Kara again and we both got drunk and I decided I needed to talk to you. Don't frakking worry, she's not going to tell Karl. She promised."

Sharon's head hurt. How much had she drunk?

"Besides, unless you want to move in with me, Hera, and Helo and we can 'try and pull a Kara', have my daughter call you 'Uncle Lee' while I frak my husband and frak you? Then..."

She didn't finish her thought because she didn't know where she was going with it, except that she knew their situation was different from Kara's. Somehow, it didn't come out that way, though...

[arrow-of-apollo.livejournal.com]

Lee rubbed his eyes. "Why would Kara want you to talk to-- No, never mind." He sighed, having never understood the fascination that Leoben held for Kara, especially after everything she'd reported had occurred on New Caprica. If it had been Lee, he was sure that he'd never want to be near another one of Leoben's model agents again, but they held a kind of sway over Kara that seemed as unbreakable as it was impenetrable. "I suppose that explains some of the pregnant pauses in conversation when Leoben came to see me."

Holding up his hand, Lee shook his head. "It was about work, and Kara. Nothing else."

His first instinct at the flippant 'pulling a Kara' remark had been to shout, to bite back at Sharon, but it was more than clear that the woman was painfully drunk, and feeling more of the former than the latter. Lee wasn't surprised, having accompanied Kara Thrace on a couple of benders in his career. More than likely, Kara had downed another half what Sharon would have, and be half as drunk.

"Did they have anything else to say about it? Gods know we're not looking for any approval, but..." Lee waved his hands. "You know, forget that. This is a sign. It needs to end. Now."

[number-eight.livejournal.com]

"It's always about Kara," she said quietly, even though that wasn't true. Not anymore, at least, but back on Galactica before they'd found Earth? She remembered all the times together with Lee where it was just another way for him to escape from Dee or forget about Kara.

Not that she hadn't done her share of using, too, but it hadn't been about a good friend. Sharon knew Lee might respect Karl, but they weren't friends.

"No, just that I should tell Karl about..." Then what he said hit her. "What?" She blinked her eyes a few times and tried to stand, but was swaying still. "What? No. No, it's not ending, not after all this time, not just..." She didn't know why she was holding onto something so desperately, either, something that had hurt them both over and over again.

"So, that's it then? Just because you say so, just because two frakking people know in the whole frakking fleet, that's it? God, Lee, you're such a selfish motherfrakking lying asshole."

It was the liquor that was making her swear more, but it was also what gave her the courage to say the truth, too.

[arrow-of-apollo.livejournal.com]

Lee bit his tongue, but it wasn't as though Sharon's retort didn't ring true. Somehow, people and events were constantly circling around Kara Thrace. If she wasn't in the middle of the action, then she was constantly the common point, the place where the circles overlapped. Maybe that was her destiny, or whatever she and Leoben were always calling it.

"Selfish? What in the hell is supposed to be so selfish about this, Sharon?" He pushed himself up off the desk and took a few paces away. "No one told Kara or Leoben about us, they guessed it. They figured it out, and that means we're not as big a secret as we think. At some point, the wrong person is going to make the right guess. Much as I'd like to, I can't just keep locking the door and sending my admin away without that happening sooner or later."

He pointed at her, voice rising. "Is that what you want? You want it to blow up in our faces? At least this way, it's over before anyone else finds out."

[number-eight.livejournal.com]

She placed the flat of her palm against her forehead. Was Lee giving her a headache, or was it the alcohol? Probably both. It didn't matter, though, not when he was acting like this, accusing her, yelling at her...

"God, Lee, shut the frak up or someone really will come in here," she managed to get out as she stood and stepped closer to him, bumping into the finger that was pointing at her and flinching slightly at the touch.

"You did this before. You left me before after I told you fine, you were right, there was something between us that I couldn't figure out and what did you say to me then? You left to go to Colonial One, spewing some crap about how all we had were memories. And then you came back into my life and got me out of hack after that incident with the Six shooting."

Sharon shook her head at Lee. "You can't keep pushing me away if you still want me, so tell me Lee. Tell me what you want, look me in the eye and tell me you don't want me, don't want this anymore and I'll frakking walk away."

[arrow-of-apollo.livejournal.com]

"I'm pretty sure I remember that it was you coming to me looking for help, Sharon," Lee said, lowering his voice. "All I did--" He stopped himself, shaking his head and trying to clear it. "Never mind."

Lee moved back from her, still needing to keep moving for some reason. It gave him an excuse, maybe, to keep a certain amount of physical distance from Sharon. In any case, he kept it up. "All I did then... all I'm doing now is trying to do the right thing for once."

His shoulders sagged. "Yes, I want you, Sharon. Gods help me, I think I even need you. I don't understand it, but whatever the frak we are, it makes this--" Lee raised his hands, encompassing the barren rock of a world they'd come to find was Earth-- "a little less insane." Looking at her straight, Lee went quiet.

"But it's still not right." With a deep breath, he let himself take two steps closer to Sharon, to see if he would be pulled even closer. "Want and need don't make it right."

[number-eight.livejournal.com]

"We don't even know what the right thing is anymore," she countered. "Was coming to Earth the right thing? Look, this is all I know. I'll be damned if I hurt my daughter or my husband. And I love them both so I can't even explain this or us the right way and yes, there is an "us", but Lee..."

Her shoulders sagged a bit, too. "I do need you. I do want you." Sharon was drunk, otherwise, she wouldn't have tried what she did next. She grabbed Lee and pulled him to her, pressing her lips against his in desperation.

"Don't leave," she whispered against his mouth.

[arrow-of-apollo.livejournal.com]

"I don't know either. But we have to try," Lee pleaded, the fire in his voice cooling by the moment. "I have to try." He ran a hand through his hair. Lee had been letting it grow out since leaving the Fleet and as it did, it had gotten lighter-- all to the extent that he sometimes didn't recognize the face in the mirror. "I don't want to be someone who just keeps giving in..."

When Sharon kissed him, though, that was exactly what he did. Lee let her press her mouth against his, let her tongue part his lips, let her arms circle his waist. He closed his eyes at her question and wished helplessly for the strength to push Sharon away. Instead, his head lowered again. Lee nipped at Sharon's full lower lip before he kissed her back.

"It doesn't look like I can," he answered, voice rasping. "It doesn't look like I ever can." Lee's hands raced up Sharon's sides until he was holding her face in them.

[number-eight.livejournal.com]

She moaned into his mouth and held onto him tightly until the part of her that always did this started pushing at his pants and tugging on his tie to get his clothes off so they could frak. "Desk," she mumbled against his lips, all while her hips pressed against his and she spun them around so she was the one standing against the desk, not him.

Sharon wasn't thinking anymore, except she needed Lee, wanted Lee, and he'd finally frakking admitted it to her that he wanted her, too. Finally. Her hands found his face and then ran through his hair that he'd already messed up, and she pulled his head down to her throat as her own head tilted back.

"Stop trying. Don't leave..."

[arrow-of-apollo.livejournal.com]

Somehow, each time they were together, it would be Sharon's hands that started things speeding down the slope. Maybe part of Lee wanted some kind of deniability, some tiny refuge where he could say "she started it", but it was a pointless and useless exercise in rationalization. Not when the second that Sharon's hands pulled at his shirt, he was right behind, unbuttoning it frantically. Not when his hips were perfectly content to press Sharon's ass into the edge of his desk.

Not when his tongue was dragging across her throat, welcoming the feel of her blood pulsing under the skin.

"I'm not a bad person," Lee mumbled, tugging at Sharon's clothes until he was able to slide his hands under her shirt. "You're not a bad person." He filled his hands with her small, firm breasts, squeezing them and feeling her nipples get hard under his palms. "Why can't we stop?"

He let go of one breast to push at her pants.

[number-eight.livejournal.com]

He wanted her to think right then? Sharon couldn't think rationally. Her head was still swimming from all the drinks she'd had. She was still angry that Lee was going to try and end it again, still felt that sharp pain of loneliness. More than that, she still needed to feel him, touch him, have him frak her because he was like a drug. Some bad case of stems or something.

"Don't know. Don't care," she mumbled, then gasped as soon as his hand touched her breast. She wriggled out of her pants and was half-naked, half-dressed, but already wet and ready for him.

Something was wrong with her to be like that. She just didn't want to think. "Because we give each other what we need," she finally told him as she hopped up on the desk, repeating the words Lee had used to convince her one time.

[arrow-of-apollo.livejournal.com]

What did he need? If anyone else had brought that question to Lee Adama's mind, he would have answered things like more hours in the day, and more hands to do all the work that went into establishing a new world for two disparate, rarely trusting cultures. He would talk about a warm bed that didn't have lumps and a house that didn't look like it had survived a bombing run. Or he'd say that he just needed something on this world to not be gray.

But what he needed right now was to unbuckle his belt and push his pants to his knees, which he did as quickly as he could.

With Sharon on the edge of the desk, it only took a single movement of his hips, and Lee was sheathed down to the root inside of her. He groaned through gritted teeth as he was suddenly surrounded by the heat of her body and the wetness that always seemed to be waiting for his shaft.

"I need you," he repeated, convincing himself. "I need you."

Lee planted his hands on the desk and started to thrust, hard and fast.

[number-eight.livejournal.com]

"Frak..."

She held onto him for a bit as he started frakking her, but somewhere in her mind she told herself it wasn't frakking. It was something else, but she couldn't name it. "God, Lee... I need you, I need you... don't stop..."

Sharon kissed him, her tongue exploring his mouth and then she gave up and let go of his body, slamming into the desk so he could frak her harder and deeper and make her not think some more.

What did she need that she didn't already have with Helo and Hera? With her friends? With her job?

"I need you," she repeated, still drunk from the alcohol but now also from the sheer sex.

[arrow-of-apollo.livejournal.com]

Lee didn't want to feel like this, not with Sharon. He didn't want to think about how perfectly he fit inside her, and how the way she would squeeze down around him sent shivers up his spine or about how the sight of her, open and waiting for him to fill her made his knees weak. And he for damn sure didn't want to think about how complete he felt inside of Sharon, how it felt like such a good place.

He looked down at her laying across his desk, body writhing in pleasure as they frakked, Sharon's mouth working open and closed with wordless noise. Lee himself was panting and groaning and not much else. "Gods, I can't stop... don't want to stop..."

In fact, he wanted more. Lee reached down and pulled at Sharon's legs, moving them off his waist and raising them until her calves rested against his shoulders. Immediately, he was driving even deeper into her.

[number-eight.livejournal.com]

"Oh, God..."

Sharon's eyes were fixed on Lee's, and once he moved her body and filled her completely, she had to hold onto the desk with both hands so she wouldn't fall. She could feel the warmth coming too, up and down her spine, and she nodded at Lee to warn him, but then she ended up screaming so loudly, his assistant probably heard her. She was drunk. She didn't care.

Lee Adama was frakking her on his desk and making her come over and over and she didn't care what happened to them in that moment. She just didn't want it to end. "Frak, yes, harder... please... I know that's how you really like it..."

Which wasn't exactly true. They'd made love before, once, on the Raptor when she took him to his new civilian life, but never again. She didn't know why it had never been slow or soft or caring like that again... maybe that was why they had spouses.

When they just needed to scream and shout and frak, they had each other.

[arrow-of-apollo.livejournal.com]

Lee saw the signs. He knew them. He'd watched Sharon through more orgasms than he could count, so when the full force of it hit her like a sledgehammer, he was ready. She clutched around his cock like a metal vise, tight enough that Lee joined her in her shout. Neither of them, it was clear, were giving a damn about anything but the contact and connection, and the people that might be on the other side of the door didn't matter.

He pounded her, his body moving like a piston in overdrive, his hips slamming hard against her ass hard enough to bruise. Lee didn't understand why he needed to frak her like this, why he always needed to go as fast and as hard as his body would allow. The first time, part of him wanted to punish Sharon for being a Cylon, but now... now he knew it fulfilled some need. Lee just didn't know why.

It was finally too much. His orgasm swelled as quickly and as frantically as Sharon's. "Yesyesyesyesyes..." he rambled, then growled as he came. Lee's body shuddered once, twice, three times as he exploded inside of her.

[number-eight.livejournal.com]

"Frak me....."

She was panting, which she never did because she never really got tired. One of the perks of being a Cylon was she could keep frakking Lee if she wanted to and he'd have to be the one to keep up with her. But the drinks, the way he'd just hurt her body, or at least wanted to hurt her body, just frak her hard and painfully and fill her in a way that no one else could... well, she couldn't help but pant as her eyes shut and she convulsed around him one last time, unable to move with her legs still over his shoulders.

"So," she mumbled through a hoarse voice, "what're you going to tell your staff this time?"

More importantly, was he going to stop this?

[arrow-of-apollo.livejournal.com]

He was taking long, slow breaths, trying to get back his control. That was the way of things when he was with Sharon, out of his control. It was like the nearer they got, the less either of them was able to resist getting closer. And it almost always ended like this-- sweating, panting and exhausted. At least, on his end.

Lee's legs were starting to weaken, so he lowered Sharon's legs until they were at his waist again before leaning over her, hands on his desk. He stared at her for a moment, considering his answer.

"I'll tell them... I'll tell them that the way things are going on this planet," said Lee quietly, "the Cylon liaison and I are likely to have a lot more shouting matches in the future, so to be aware."

Damning himself again, Lee knew, but he knew even better how little he really wanted to stop.

[number-eight.livejournal.com]

She nodded at him, relief filling her because she didn't want it to stop, either, no matter how wrong it was. Sharon pulled him closer to her and kissed him again, lightly at first and then harder, hungrier.

"Good. Good."

Still drunk, still not thinking, she pushed away from Lee a bit and got dressed again, fixing her hair back into her normal ponytail before going back home to see her husband. She'd just tell him she was drunk from the time with Kara, and that she needed to go to bed right away. Tomorrow, she'd frak her husband and things would be normal between them because it wasn't as if Lee had stopped frakking Dee, after all.

"See you later, then."

One last kiss, and she went back home, damned and confused all over again.