27.A.2 Call Me

[number_eight]

Call me a sinner
Call me a saint
Tell me it’s over
I’ll still love you the same

[Letter written to callsign_helo but destroyed and never sent]

Karl,

I'm not the person you think I am. I don't think I ever was, actually. Back on Caprica, I lied to you in order to get you to fall in love with me and it worked. Why? Why did it work? Why did you stay with me? You shot me when you found out I was a Cylon, but you could have killed me. You didn't. Why not? Did you really love me that much? I hope so. I'd like to believe that, at least.

I love you. I love you so much because you've always believed in me somehow. You've trusted me, you helped me get our daughter back from the Cylons after everything that President Roslin did, you stayed with me. You stayed with me while I was in hack, you pushed at me during that year until I agreed to marry you, you mourned the "loss" of our daughter alone because I pushed you away from me. But, you pushed back and I had to let you in. How could I refuse? You loved me. You still love me, no matter how selfish I can be at times.

I don't deserve you. I love you, Karl, with my whole life and I always will, but I have to tell you the truth.



I frakked Lee Adama. Not once, not twice, but ever since the Old Man let me out of hack and we rescued everyone from New Caprica. I've been hiding it from you the whole time. He's been hiding it from Dee the whole time. All those assignments where my CAP rotation got changed? That time where we had to spend two days over on another ship while they were repairing our Raptor? I was with him. I can't even say why, though.

I love you. I love our life and our daughter and I don't want you to leave me, Karl, but I know if you read this, you will. You'll take Hera away from me and please, please, all I ask is that you let me see her. Don't take her away from me completely. I love you. I love you. I don't know how many times I can keep saying it. It doesn't make sense; I've thought about it over and over again, and neither Lee nor I have any illusions that we're secretly in love. He's got a wife he loves, and I've got you.

Don't blame him for this. I could have stopped it at anytime, but instead I went and lied to you every night I slept next to you in our quarters. I have no excuse, none at all. I can't even promise that I'll stop seeing him. All I can promise is that I am in love with you.

Yours Always,
Sharon



Muse: Sharon "Athena" Agathon
Fandom: Misc. TV/"Battlestar Galactica"
Word Count: 475

Comments

[callsign-helo.livejournal.com]

OOC: Fantastic. Just awesome and heartbreaking and messed up.

[number-eight.livejournal.com]

OOC: Yay! I'm so glad it worked and made sense, too. I think it's true; she doesn't love Lee. She really loves Helo and always will, which is why he can't ever find out. It's pretty selfish of her, too, but that's why flawed characters are so much fun. :)

[callsign-helo.livejournal.com]

OOC: It totally worked.