Sharon (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
number_eight) wrote2009-03-02 12:32 pm
number_eight) wrote2009-03-02 12:32 pm
272 - Pets
Cavil called me his "pet Cylon."
I never gave it much thought until Ellen came to us. The Cylon who created me, and created me flawed. I was conflicted for a bit there, trying to reconcile this version of Ellen Tigh with the one I knew back on Galactica, until I remembered it didn't matter. Cavil was right. I was a machine, I was trying to be a better machine. He told me I needed to be his good girl and take Ellen back so I could kidnap Hera for him.
Stupid hybrid brat.
But, I did what he asked, no questions. I knew they'd take me to the brig, and I hoped Chief would come to see me. Another part of Cavil's plan as his "pet", only... only there was more. I got conflicted again, I touched Galen and projected our dream home on Picon with our own daughter and suddenly my plan began to fall apart on me.
I loved him. Frak, I loved Galen Tyrol, even though he betrayed me, even though he married the human who killed me, even though he was a Cylon and he had hated all Cylons. I loved him. I loved him and before I knew what I was, I had used him... now? I knew exactly what I was, what he was, and I was still going to use him to get what Cavil wanted.
It nearly tore my heart in two.
I didn't even have to do much, because he was the one who did it all for me. Helping me escape. Knocking that other Eight with a wrench and slipping her into the brig. Frak, he even helped push the equipment box with a drugged-up Hera inside into my Raptor.
Cavil called me his pet Cylon, but in reality, it was almost like Galen was mine.
--
Karl had been so busy lately, now that Kara was CAG and he had more responsibilities with the mutineers all onboard the Astral Queen. The battlestar was falling apart, too, and we just didn't have enough people to help out. We ended up with a lot of Sixes and Eights flying CAP and trying to repair Galactica, but it still meant that I didn't see Karl as much.
It was like we'd almost forgotten what it was like to touch each other.
I'd heard Boomer was brought onboard, and that the Six named Sonja was asking for her extradition. Hey, it didn't bother me any. Boomer tried to kill my daughter. She shot the Old Man and forced me to end up living down the expectations that people had of me once I joined Galactica. No, I wasn't a sleeper agent like she was. And fine, so she didn't have a mission where she had to use a man who loved her to get what she wanted. But Karl loved me, me, eventually. Not Boomer.
I... I pretended to be Boomer to get Helo to love me, but it didn't work because I ended up in love with him. It didn't matter what the plan was. I wasn't going to be used.
But, God, with everything that had happened, I missed Karl so much. I just wanted to shower, crawl into bed with him, and frak like there was no tomorrow. Hera was at daycare, after all, and I knew he'd been missing me, too.
"Great, I hope you are here to fix the frakking shower!"
I turned around and looked into the Eight's eyes and I knew, the way any Cylon would know instantly. Boomer. And then my world turned around forever.
--
Bitch. Frakking bitch, standing there by the sink, thinking I was some anonymous Eight. She stole my life! She became loved on this ship as a Cylon, whereas I was hated for being who I was -- and I didn't even know it at the time! What sort of life is that? It's not, not at all. Is it my fault I shot Adama? No. No. But I saw the look in his eyes once I got off the stolen Raptor, and I knew he hated me with every fiber of his being, so frak him and everyone else right back!
Except Galen. Except... except Galen.
But frakking Athena... all I could think of as I punched her over and over, trying to get her to bleed as much as I'd bled dying in Galen's arms, all I could picture in my mind was how she'd thought she could pretend to be me on Caprica to get Helo to love her. Like he would fall for that! Helo had been my friend, he'd been good, he had some crush on me but I loved Chief and this frakking bitch had stolen everything from me, had used my name to get someone to love her...
So you know what? I can do the same thing, Athena.
I tied her up in the supply closet, but I left it open enough that she could see. That she could hear. God forgive me, because this was not what I wanted to do when it came to the plan Cavil had decided on, and it was not what I wanted Galen to ever find out about, but...
Helo came inside. Helo wanted to frak. Good. I could be "Athena", the same way she'd been "Boomer". I could use her identity and the man she loved to get what I wanted. She could be my good little Cylon pet, and I'd just report back to Cavil how "helpful" she'd been. I decided to just... let go of all my pent-up anger at Athena and I kissed him. Hard. He took his shirt off, I took mine off, and he ended up tossing me against the wall. I pictured Galen in my head. Galen, always Galen, but Eights are good at using men to get what we want. And when Helo started frakking me, for a moment I could feel what it would have been like if I'd stayed on Galactica with this man who had loved Boomer, the Boomer I used to be. I was loud, he was loud, and I made sure Athena could see everything.
The other part of me just wanted Galen to forgive me for what I was doing...
--
God, no, Karl, stop, please... can't you tell? I couldn't move, blood was everywhere... why had she been able to beat me so easily? She was in my uniform. She was me. She was frakking my husband.
I wanted to cry, but I couldn't. I think I was in too much pain and too much shock from it all, and I understood. She was hurting me through Karl. She wanted me to pay... and I was. Every time I heard Karl cry out, every time I watched Boomer writhe underneath his body as he frakked her. Hard, fast... the way that I had been hoping for, waiting for his touch because we didn't have time, we never had time, not now, not anymore, but God, the image...
Why couldn't he tell it wasn't me? She was using him. She... she was "Athena", and just like me back on Caprica, she got him to love her even though he had no clue who she really was.
I cried even after it was all over and they were both dressed and gone.
--
I kissed Galen in the Raptor after I'd lied and gotten Hera out of daycare. No one asked. No human seemed to care. I was dressed as Athena, so that must be who I was, right? Frakking idiots. One look in our eyes is all it takes to know who we really are.
But I kissed Galen and apologized, begging him to come with me. He loved me, he had to after everything he had done for me, right? But he didn't. He wouldn't. Maybe he didn't love me the way I loved him, maybe he had used me to fill up the hole that Cally had left. Maybe... maybe I was just a pet Cylon after all. Frak, I couldn't think about anything right then except that I loved Galen and wanted him with me. I didn't love Cavil, but he saved me after Caprica had snapped my neck. I was tired of dying so many times.
I wanted to live.
I said goodbye to him, probably for the last time... oh, Galen. I love you. I love you. I managed to get my Raptor out of Galactica and I finally Jumped, sadness written on my face.
Back to being Cavil's pet.
--
It took awhile, but I managed to get out of the closet and struggled until I got to where I knew Karl would be at -- the briefing room. I told him it was Boomer, it was Boomer, it was frakking Boomer and not me and he held me, asking a Six to get a medic. Part of me was so thankful to have him in my arms, believing me, and part of me hated him for not realizing it was Boomer. I remember hitting him over and over, crying, hating and loving him, even though he was the one who'd been used, not me.
Not me.
It took us both some time to get to the daycare to make sure Hera was okay, and then they told me she was gone, that I'd picked her up. My knees had buckled, Karl had to hold me, and we ended up asking everyone on Galactica what had happened, how it could have happened... who would do it? Boomer took my daughter, she took my daughter...
Why were people always kidnapping my daughter? Why? Why? Oh God, Karl, I needed him so badly again, the way I'd needed him when we both thought she was dead, and yet part of me wanted to push him away from me because he'd frakked Boomer... I was injured. I couldn't trust my husband in that moment. I had lost my daughter again.
Whatever your plan was, Boomer, you got it without hurting anyone else but me.
You won.
Muse: Sharon "Boomer" Valerii and Sharon "Athena" Agathon
Fandom: Misc. TV/"Battlestar Galactica"
Word Count: 1700 (not including direct quotes)
I never gave it much thought until Ellen came to us. The Cylon who created me, and created me flawed. I was conflicted for a bit there, trying to reconcile this version of Ellen Tigh with the one I knew back on Galactica, until I remembered it didn't matter. Cavil was right. I was a machine, I was trying to be a better machine. He told me I needed to be his good girl and take Ellen back so I could kidnap Hera for him.
Stupid hybrid brat.
But, I did what he asked, no questions. I knew they'd take me to the brig, and I hoped Chief would come to see me. Another part of Cavil's plan as his "pet", only... only there was more. I got conflicted again, I touched Galen and projected our dream home on Picon with our own daughter and suddenly my plan began to fall apart on me.
I loved him. Frak, I loved Galen Tyrol, even though he betrayed me, even though he married the human who killed me, even though he was a Cylon and he had hated all Cylons. I loved him. I loved him and before I knew what I was, I had used him... now? I knew exactly what I was, what he was, and I was still going to use him to get what Cavil wanted.
It nearly tore my heart in two.
I didn't even have to do much, because he was the one who did it all for me. Helping me escape. Knocking that other Eight with a wrench and slipping her into the brig. Frak, he even helped push the equipment box with a drugged-up Hera inside into my Raptor.
Cavil called me his pet Cylon, but in reality, it was almost like Galen was mine.
--
Karl had been so busy lately, now that Kara was CAG and he had more responsibilities with the mutineers all onboard the Astral Queen. The battlestar was falling apart, too, and we just didn't have enough people to help out. We ended up with a lot of Sixes and Eights flying CAP and trying to repair Galactica, but it still meant that I didn't see Karl as much.
It was like we'd almost forgotten what it was like to touch each other.
I'd heard Boomer was brought onboard, and that the Six named Sonja was asking for her extradition. Hey, it didn't bother me any. Boomer tried to kill my daughter. She shot the Old Man and forced me to end up living down the expectations that people had of me once I joined Galactica. No, I wasn't a sleeper agent like she was. And fine, so she didn't have a mission where she had to use a man who loved her to get what she wanted. But Karl loved me, me, eventually. Not Boomer.
I... I pretended to be Boomer to get Helo to love me, but it didn't work because I ended up in love with him. It didn't matter what the plan was. I wasn't going to be used.
But, God, with everything that had happened, I missed Karl so much. I just wanted to shower, crawl into bed with him, and frak like there was no tomorrow. Hera was at daycare, after all, and I knew he'd been missing me, too.
"Great, I hope you are here to fix the frakking shower!"
I turned around and looked into the Eight's eyes and I knew, the way any Cylon would know instantly. Boomer. And then my world turned around forever.
--
Bitch. Frakking bitch, standing there by the sink, thinking I was some anonymous Eight. She stole my life! She became loved on this ship as a Cylon, whereas I was hated for being who I was -- and I didn't even know it at the time! What sort of life is that? It's not, not at all. Is it my fault I shot Adama? No. No. But I saw the look in his eyes once I got off the stolen Raptor, and I knew he hated me with every fiber of his being, so frak him and everyone else right back!
Except Galen. Except... except Galen.
But frakking Athena... all I could think of as I punched her over and over, trying to get her to bleed as much as I'd bled dying in Galen's arms, all I could picture in my mind was how she'd thought she could pretend to be me on Caprica to get Helo to love her. Like he would fall for that! Helo had been my friend, he'd been good, he had some crush on me but I loved Chief and this frakking bitch had stolen everything from me, had used my name to get someone to love her...
So you know what? I can do the same thing, Athena.
I tied her up in the supply closet, but I left it open enough that she could see. That she could hear. God forgive me, because this was not what I wanted to do when it came to the plan Cavil had decided on, and it was not what I wanted Galen to ever find out about, but...
Helo came inside. Helo wanted to frak. Good. I could be "Athena", the same way she'd been "Boomer". I could use her identity and the man she loved to get what I wanted. She could be my good little Cylon pet, and I'd just report back to Cavil how "helpful" she'd been. I decided to just... let go of all my pent-up anger at Athena and I kissed him. Hard. He took his shirt off, I took mine off, and he ended up tossing me against the wall. I pictured Galen in my head. Galen, always Galen, but Eights are good at using men to get what we want. And when Helo started frakking me, for a moment I could feel what it would have been like if I'd stayed on Galactica with this man who had loved Boomer, the Boomer I used to be. I was loud, he was loud, and I made sure Athena could see everything.
The other part of me just wanted Galen to forgive me for what I was doing...
--
God, no, Karl, stop, please... can't you tell? I couldn't move, blood was everywhere... why had she been able to beat me so easily? She was in my uniform. She was me. She was frakking my husband.
I wanted to cry, but I couldn't. I think I was in too much pain and too much shock from it all, and I understood. She was hurting me through Karl. She wanted me to pay... and I was. Every time I heard Karl cry out, every time I watched Boomer writhe underneath his body as he frakked her. Hard, fast... the way that I had been hoping for, waiting for his touch because we didn't have time, we never had time, not now, not anymore, but God, the image...
Why couldn't he tell it wasn't me? She was using him. She... she was "Athena", and just like me back on Caprica, she got him to love her even though he had no clue who she really was.
I cried even after it was all over and they were both dressed and gone.
--
I kissed Galen in the Raptor after I'd lied and gotten Hera out of daycare. No one asked. No human seemed to care. I was dressed as Athena, so that must be who I was, right? Frakking idiots. One look in our eyes is all it takes to know who we really are.
But I kissed Galen and apologized, begging him to come with me. He loved me, he had to after everything he had done for me, right? But he didn't. He wouldn't. Maybe he didn't love me the way I loved him, maybe he had used me to fill up the hole that Cally had left. Maybe... maybe I was just a pet Cylon after all. Frak, I couldn't think about anything right then except that I loved Galen and wanted him with me. I didn't love Cavil, but he saved me after Caprica had snapped my neck. I was tired of dying so many times.
I wanted to live.
I said goodbye to him, probably for the last time... oh, Galen. I love you. I love you. I managed to get my Raptor out of Galactica and I finally Jumped, sadness written on my face.
Back to being Cavil's pet.
--
It took awhile, but I managed to get out of the closet and struggled until I got to where I knew Karl would be at -- the briefing room. I told him it was Boomer, it was Boomer, it was frakking Boomer and not me and he held me, asking a Six to get a medic. Part of me was so thankful to have him in my arms, believing me, and part of me hated him for not realizing it was Boomer. I remember hitting him over and over, crying, hating and loving him, even though he was the one who'd been used, not me.
Not me.
It took us both some time to get to the daycare to make sure Hera was okay, and then they told me she was gone, that I'd picked her up. My knees had buckled, Karl had to hold me, and we ended up asking everyone on Galactica what had happened, how it could have happened... who would do it? Boomer took my daughter, she took my daughter...
Why were people always kidnapping my daughter? Why? Why? Oh God, Karl, I needed him so badly again, the way I'd needed him when we both thought she was dead, and yet part of me wanted to push him away from me because he'd frakked Boomer... I was injured. I couldn't trust my husband in that moment. I had lost my daughter again.
Whatever your plan was, Boomer, you got it without hurting anyone else but me.
You won.
Muse: Sharon "Boomer" Valerii and Sharon "Athena" Agathon
Fandom: Misc. TV/"Battlestar Galactica"
Word Count: 1700 (not including direct quotes)
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OOC: Absolutely brilliant. Thank you.
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OOC: Oh, thank you! I'm so glad it worked! :)
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I'll be around.
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Karl? I... I love you, you know.
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I don't know what the hell happened to my girl after her collapse, so I'm assuming it was just a collapse and she's not dead (yet).
I felt it, I felt it. I knew something was happening to Hera and we needed to stop it.
I tried to get to the phone.
How the frak did she get out of the brig?
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And that sounds good. :)
What...? You... you felt it? Another vision, or what? What happened?
I don't know. I don't frakking know, and Karl and I, we've been asking around, and no one can even figure out how she got onboard the Raptor. I'm just... Madame President, why can't they just leave her alone?
Maybe you were right to send her away from me.
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I tried... I'm sorry, but I tried to help her. We're connected somehow. All of us. It's that frakking opera house. But the players aren't right. There was no Six and no Baltar...
We'll get her back to you. We have to. She's just a little girl, she can't protect herself any more than she could when I thanked her...
I did the only thing I could with the information available to me at the time, but it's not enough. It's never enough.
Maybe it's too late for all of us now.
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I wouldn't know. I don't remember much, I think I was just too focused on trying to get to Hera to really care about anyone else or if they were connected, or...
Thank you, Madame President.
I... I hope you're wrong.
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We will find out how this happened. She must have had help.
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Obviously, she must have had help, but I don't know of any Cylons who would want to help her escape. As far as I knew, they wanted to have a trial for her part in murdering thousands of Cylon lives.
Who would want to help her?
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I honestly don't know. I don't think it was one of our Cylon allies. I can't think of anyone who would knowingly and willfully deliver Hera to the other Cylons.
Perhaps someone who didn't realize she would take Hera and was making a misguided attempt to stop further bloodshed?
Gods dammit, I don't know.
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No, no, someone had to help her escape the brig, at least.
I just want Hera back.
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I wish you had been there.no subject
The worst thing about all of this is that I believe you. I believed you before and I believe you now. I believe that you love me, as much as you possibly can.
But you made the choice. You made the choice to allow your bitterness and anger and hatred destroy whatever we could have had for however long we could have had it. I believed in you. I trusted you. I had the audacity to ask a personal favor for you.
There's a lot of holes, Boomer. Big holes, small holes. Holes for people I love, holes for people I hate, holes every size and every shape imaginable. I can't believe I'm not hollowed out yet. There's a Boomer-sized hole there that for a moment I thought could be filled back in, even if my plan to get you away to safety failed. Because I would have proven to you that you never left my thoughts.
Yes, I went on with my life. There are two holes there that remind me of that every day. I didn't love Cally the way I loved you, but I loved her just as much. And I destroyed her just like I helped to destroy you.
And now I've participated in redigging a hole in the hearts of two people I respect and admire, because of your bitterness and hatred. I helped Helo spread what we both thought were Hera's ashes. How do I look at them in the face after what I helped you do? Is she dead already? Do you plan to kill her? I can't even think of the little boy I lost yet. I shut down when I... You know, it doesn't matter.
Everything I touch turns to dust. Thanks for reminding me of that.
OOC: o_0 Um, sorry. He got carried away. And he's doing his best to make me not mad at him. Bad Chief!
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I do love you. I told you, no matter what you hear, no matter what happens, to never forget that. To never forget that I love you and I always have.
You hurt me. So much. So much. You turned away from me in the brig, and Gaius Baltar tried to kill you in front of me in order to get information from me that I didn't know! Everyone uses me. I just thought you were going to be different, Galen. I thought now that you knew you were a Cylon, you could understand me a little better.
I had to go on with my life, too, and I didn't have it as easy as you did. I had Cavil. So if you think I'm bitter and full of hate, you can thank him -- the only being who actually gave a damn whether I lived or died.
Hera is important... I guess. I don't care about her,; she doesn't matter to me. Do you know they tried to make me take care of her, as if I was Athena? As if just because we're the same model, I'm supposed to have feelings for her? Didn't you see in the projection what our daughter would have looked like? She would have been so beautiful, Galen.
OOC: That's okay! I'm sure there's a lot he wants to say to Boomer!
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I know. I know you love me. Just like I know Cally loved me when she killed you.
We do such insidious, hateful things in the name of love.
I came to you because I wanted to apologize for hurting you. And to see you. And a hundred other reasons, good and bad.
You think it was gods-damned picnic thinking of you everyday, wondering what was happening to you, wishing things had turned out differently? You think I had it frakking easy, seeing your dead ringer with frakking Helo when it should have been you and me?
You had Cavil? Well, good for you. He sure taught you how to deflect any and all personal responsibility.
You used me. You used me to get to Hera. And now you're telling you betrayed me over something that doesn't even matter to you? What am I supposed to say to that? How is that supposed to make me feel? How is that supposed to make Hera's parents feel?
Yeah, our daughter was beautiful. So is Hera.
What would you have done if I had gone with you? Because it would have been game over when I found out you had Hera. Would you have killed me if I tried to take her home where she belongs?
OOC: He's so screwed up!
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It should have been you and me, always. If you know I love you, why are you acting like you hate me? Do you know what it was like for me, knowing she was there on Galactica living a "perfect" life, the one you and I should have had?
I did. I used you. That was the plan, and then I saw you and I didn't want to do it, anymore. I wanted you. I wanted to kiss you, touch you, have a life with you somehow. I don't know how! Don't ask me how!
We could have figured something out. You could have stayed on the baseship with me, Cavil wouldn't mind. I'm sure. God, Galen, it's just Hera! She's not even pure Cylon! She's not our daughter. She's Athena's. Why does she matter to you?
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I don't hate you. I hate myself for letting this happen. I walked right into it.
Her life was never perfect, not by any means. Maybe she had it easier than you, but she never had it easy.
I let you out of the brig because I didn't want you to die. I let you out knowing that if I loved you, then I had to let you go. My place is here. I forgot that for a little while, I thought maybe we could survive on our own and with the repairs I spearheaded, maybe humanity stands a fighting chance, too.
Don't tell me Cavil would have rolled out a welcome mat for me. The only thing he hates more than us are the humans. More likely he would've told someone to start prepping for surgery and dissect my brain.
Athena isn't you. She could never be you. But she's someone I like and respect and call my friend. How could her daughter being in danger not matter to me?
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What was I supposed to do, Galen? Just leave the ship after seeing you again and never return, then? That's what you wanted to do for me? Because it sucks. It frakking sucks.
I wouldn't let Cavil do anything to you. You know that.
I can't believe we're fighting about this. I knew it. I knew this would happen. I knew if I came back and told you I loved you, that this would happen. I thought you'd changed, Galen.
You're a Cylon. Stop acting like you're not.
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OOC
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beyond amazing!
OOC
Re: OOC