155 - Sharon vs. Everyone Else
Dec. 5th, 2006 09:36 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
number_eightThey killed my baby.
You think I'm frakking making this up? They killed my baby. My daughter. Hera. They killed her because she was part-Cylon. If she'd been the daughter of Helo and Boomer, that rookie pilot from Troy, it would have been hailed as a miraculous birth. President Roslin would have made some sort of announcement that we were "rebuilding with the youth of tomorrow", and life would have gone back to normal. Or, as normal as it ever gets for us here onboard Galactica. One small problem, of course, was that I'm not Boomer. I'm not that Sharon. She's dead. She's dead and I'm paying for her crimes still.
It's been over a year, and the wound is still fresh.
I was so... happy to tell Helo about our baby. It was at the worst time, of course, but I was happy. It was a strange feeling. Happiness, knowing that you're supposed to kill the man who fathered your child. I couldn't do it. I don't know if any of the other "Sharons" or "Eights" out there could have, but I couldn't. Helo changed me. To the other Sharon, Sharon Valerii? Helo was her best friend. Intellectually, I knew that much going into the assignment, but intellect doesn't work when you're frakking a man you love with your whole heart. The Cylons don't get that... but he did. And we made something together. I held her little hand... Cottle said her lungs weren't fully formed, but that wasn't it. I know it. He wouldn't tell me if it was him, or Adama, or Roslin who'd ordered her to be killed, and at that moment when Cottle told me? I could have cared less who it was. I wanted him dead. I wanted him to feel the pain that I was feeling when he'd told me Hera was dead. Helo kept trying to take care of me and I didn't want it. All I wanted was pain to be dealt back to these humans who I had helped. How could they call themselves "human" when they had no concept of their own emotions? They call us Cylons machines, but they're the ones without a heart for an innocent child's suffering. Any other child would have gotten the best medical care, but not mine.
No, Helo was given her ashes and I guess he went with Chief to release them into space. I wanted to go, but they wouldn't even allow me that. I was just a Cylon. Not a mother who had lost her child. Frak them.
Helo wondered why I didn't say anything about Brother Cavil. Guess what? My daughter had just been murdered and I was left in the frakking brig while her ashes were being scattered! So when I got that chance to get off Galactica and I saw the Cavil model there, I kept quiet. I let him come back with us. I wasn't sure what his plan was, but it didn't matter to me. Adama's feelings didn't matter to me then. Nothing mattered to me! I could have cared less if Cavil had blown up the frakking ship with me on it still because at least then? Then I would have downloaded into a new body and I could have asked to be boxed. Anything to take away the pain that I was feeling.
They killed my frakking baby... and I? I screamed and cried for her loss while in the brig. I didn't think letting one more toaster onboard would do any harm. And if it had? I... I don't know. I don't know. Back then, even, I don't know if it would have really made me feel better, because it's been over a year and nothing is making it feel better.
I loved you, Hera.
Muse : Sharon "Athena" Agathon
Fandom: Misc. TV/"Battlestar Galactica"
Word Count : 633
You think I'm frakking making this up? They killed my baby. My daughter. Hera. They killed her because she was part-Cylon. If she'd been the daughter of Helo and Boomer, that rookie pilot from Troy, it would have been hailed as a miraculous birth. President Roslin would have made some sort of announcement that we were "rebuilding with the youth of tomorrow", and life would have gone back to normal. Or, as normal as it ever gets for us here onboard Galactica. One small problem, of course, was that I'm not Boomer. I'm not that Sharon. She's dead. She's dead and I'm paying for her crimes still.
It's been over a year, and the wound is still fresh.
I was so... happy to tell Helo about our baby. It was at the worst time, of course, but I was happy. It was a strange feeling. Happiness, knowing that you're supposed to kill the man who fathered your child. I couldn't do it. I don't know if any of the other "Sharons" or "Eights" out there could have, but I couldn't. Helo changed me. To the other Sharon, Sharon Valerii? Helo was her best friend. Intellectually, I knew that much going into the assignment, but intellect doesn't work when you're frakking a man you love with your whole heart. The Cylons don't get that... but he did. And we made something together. I held her little hand... Cottle said her lungs weren't fully formed, but that wasn't it. I know it. He wouldn't tell me if it was him, or Adama, or Roslin who'd ordered her to be killed, and at that moment when Cottle told me? I could have cared less who it was. I wanted him dead. I wanted him to feel the pain that I was feeling when he'd told me Hera was dead. Helo kept trying to take care of me and I didn't want it. All I wanted was pain to be dealt back to these humans who I had helped. How could they call themselves "human" when they had no concept of their own emotions? They call us Cylons machines, but they're the ones without a heart for an innocent child's suffering. Any other child would have gotten the best medical care, but not mine.
No, Helo was given her ashes and I guess he went with Chief to release them into space. I wanted to go, but they wouldn't even allow me that. I was just a Cylon. Not a mother who had lost her child. Frak them.
Helo wondered why I didn't say anything about Brother Cavil. Guess what? My daughter had just been murdered and I was left in the frakking brig while her ashes were being scattered! So when I got that chance to get off Galactica and I saw the Cavil model there, I kept quiet. I let him come back with us. I wasn't sure what his plan was, but it didn't matter to me. Adama's feelings didn't matter to me then. Nothing mattered to me! I could have cared less if Cavil had blown up the frakking ship with me on it still because at least then? Then I would have downloaded into a new body and I could have asked to be boxed. Anything to take away the pain that I was feeling.
They killed my frakking baby... and I? I screamed and cried for her loss while in the brig. I didn't think letting one more toaster onboard would do any harm. And if it had? I... I don't know. I don't know. Back then, even, I don't know if it would have really made me feel better, because it's been over a year and nothing is making it feel better.
I loved you, Hera.
Muse : Sharon "Athena" Agathon
Fandom: Misc. TV/"Battlestar Galactica"
Word Count : 633
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no subject
Date: 2006-12-05 04:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-05 07:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-05 07:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-05 08:15 pm (UTC)Although I don't know why you seem to be the last of everyone onboard who would see that.no subject
Date: 2006-12-05 09:43 pm (UTC)