230 - Black and White

[number_eight]

[Locked from Starbuck]

Kara used to be my friend. Next thing I know, I'm on a mission where I'm helping to lead a mutiny against her and I've got her in a chokehold so we can take her down to the brig after my husband has relieved her of duty.

I never thought I'd take part in a mutiny, because ever since I earned my uniform, I knew what I wanted. I wanted to make the Old Man proud. I wanted to make my husband proud, make myself proud. And I wanted to make sure that people like Cally or Seelix (God, Seelix, I thought better of you) would respect me, even if they didn't like me. But Seelix, as soon as the plan turned into something where boarding a Cylon baseship became a possibility, she just… reverted. She practically tossed me off, acting like I was a Cylon just like the others.

I'm not just like the others. Which, strangely enough, the other Eights pointed out to me.

I'm not a hero. I'm not someone they should aspire to be. I'm just Sharon, someone who fraks up just like anyone else does, only my DNA is slightly different. But they looked at me to lead them because I was the first one to say "no", to be different from the other models.

That's not exactly true. Boomer was the first, but you just don't know that yet, do you, Athena? You can't keep pretending that you're not special and then say that you are. It makes you just as hypocritical as everyone says about you.

I remember looking at all of them. Starbuck was somewhere, God, who knew with the way she'd been acting lately, and this swarm of them came to me. I felt disgusted. Disappointed. I chose my side. I chose to be human, to join the Colonial Fleet, to marry a human and have a child. They chose to mutiny, and then they wanted to turn around and say, "Sorry, we were wrong about that mutiny?" No. You don't do that.

Frak.

I guess that's why I was so angry at them. I really wasn't any different or better. I'd chosen a mutiny, too, just a different kind on Demetrius, and then I practically volunteered to help Starbuck take the Raptor to the Cylon baseship and be her guide. I'd switched sides, too. Sure, I still had my family waiting for me, while they had… nothing. I guess I was right about that much.

I was right in one more thing, though. I'm as human as they come these days. Fine, I can stick my hand into a data-font to gain access to the datastream of a baseship. But when that dying Cylon looked up at me with my face, holding a hand out to me, telling me I was right and…

I almost touched her. I guess because part of me felt bad or maybe it was because she'd admitted I was right all along. I'm not really sure which, but I couldn't do it. Touching her means something to Cylons before death. The kiss I watched between the Sixes before one shot the other with no Resurrection Ship around? I understood what it was about. Tactile. Need. Comfort. It's what Cylons do, and if I had given in and provided that for her, then it would be admitting that Seelix was right about me. That I'm just another Cylon.

I'm not. I'm Sharon Agathon, callsign "Athena", and I might have betrayed my CO on this mission, but I hadn't touched that Cylon as she died. I'm just as human as you.

Simple as that.



Muse: Sharon "Athena" Agathon
Fandom: Misc. TV/"Battlestar Galactica"
Word Count: 610

Comments

[arrow-of-apollo.livejournal.com]

A baseship? I thought Kara had you looking for Earth, Lieutenant.

[number-eight.livejournal.com]

She did. Apparently the Hybrid within the baseship had some sort of clue to lead her to Earth. It wasn't my choice to make.

I'm just glad I'll be coming home now. I miss Hera.

[arrow-of-apollo.livejournal.com]

This is insane... I want to believe her, but this is insane...

I can only imagine.

[number-eight.livejournal.com]

You're telling me. Once upon a time, I was close to her, like a sister. Now...

[arrow-of-apollo.livejournal.com]

Now, I don't think any of us know her.

[number-eight.livejournal.com]

Exactly.